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  • JCHume

    JCHume

    April 3, 2015, 9:06 pm

    Is alcohol involved in the outbursts at all? I have witnessed the knife to the wrist thing before which ended up in a cut palm, stitches and a night in hospital for the guy who was acting out. He had had a fight with his girlfriend and about 3/4 of a bottle of vodka just before the incident.

    You didn't say how old your brother is (or you are) but if he is still in education maybe he could have a talk about his problems with a school councillor. Depending on your age, you are possibly too young to carry this can all by yourself. Perhaps you need to talk it over with a close and trusted adult? (Sorry if that sounds really patronising. You might be 36 for all I know but I get the impression from this one post that you and bro are younger).

    Reply

  • Voluntaryism

    Voluntaryism

    April 4, 2015, 3:11 am

    Well, i think it is not just a recruiting device, proving that dissent is still possible, but some kind of liberating release, proclaiming "I am alive! I am still myself!"

    To speak frankly, I have never had the opportunity to take part in something like that, besides the (honestly) disappointing peaceful marches and making appearances and the largely independent ruckus making. It's something that I am a little embarrassed about. not embarrassed, but disappointed in myself for not being more active.

    The next G20 is in Ontario in june right?

    As far as a constructive alternative(not to say that i dont support smashing stuff) I think, if anyone has a say in any business that they are a part of, work to decentralize. There is no better time than a recession than to try and get your way.

    I work for a small tea house and the owner is a libertarian from hong kong. She has always been pro free market capitalism, which, as a mutualist, plucks my heartstrings a little. But we are losing money, people have stopped coming so much since all of this recession crap. I have suggested to her, that we calculate the daily cost of upkeep for the place. All of the employers chip in and pay for this, and they keep all of the money that they make during the day. I'm not sure it will happen, but maybe if i push it it will.

    In other words, I think, right now, in our current situation, there is no better time than for people to really start talking about it again as a real alternative.

    Reply

  • newrat

    newrat

    March 10, 2015, 4:55 pm

    You can't? You can't imagine the shame, embarrassment, awkwardness she will now hold and the guilt she will feel every time she sees or thinks about her older brother. We can't say exactly why she is posting the pics, but it does sound like it is just a temporary release for some deeper rooted issues. That said (and from OP's general tone), it is very likely that she is not completely comfortable with it, and thus would be very embarrassed should someone find out.

    >it's not his fault he saw it

    True, and an extremely rational, well rounded human being would realise this and accept the situation for what it is. However, even most "healthy" people would gather up all their feelings of shame/guilt/embarrassment and externalise it by blaming someone else. Especially if there is someone that has suddenly caused you to feel all these emotions out of nowhere; the brother would fall squarely in the cross-hairs.

    To OP: From your comments it does sound as if you are expecting at least some of what I have conjectured above. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. Like others, I suggest that you approach her non-judgementally and tell her what you saw (the truth) and that you are there for her. She may or may not want to talk to you for years, but that is something that you cannot control. Though it is almost impossibly difficult, you need to fully accept the situation for what it is and follow the right course of action regardless of future consequences (which are ultimately out of your control). You cannot unsee the pics, and you cannot go on pretending it never happened. This is a shitty situation, accept it for what it is, and do the right thing for your sister.

    I wish you the best of luck.

    edit: Markup's a bitch.

    Reply

  • pipocaQuemada

    pipocaQuemada

    March 10, 2015, 10:00 am

    Within reason, yes. Picking up and becoming good with a language take time, though. Also, there are major semantic differences between languages.

    If you know Python, learning Ruby should be fairly easy.

    If you know Java, C# is fairly easy.

    If you know C, Scheme just has some fairly straight-forward syntactic differences... assuming you ignore the massive differences in semantics and coding style.

    If you know Scheme, Common Lisp is simple. The syntax is the same, or close enough, at any rate. CL just has an object system tacked on, a different macro system, multiple name-spaces, the ability to do procedural code, etc. etc.

    Sure, some languages are really close to each other. You can probably learn enough Ruby, Common Lisp, or Java in a week if you're a Python, Scheme or C# programmer. Some languages are very, very different. Look at C and Haskell. Or Prolog and C. Or even C and C#. If you're a good procedural programmer, there's no reason to expect to be good at OO programming. OO and Functional are similarly different. Even within families, there are fairly major differences in languages. Compare Erlang and Haskell, or E and Java.

    Reply

  • Shaper_pmp

    Shaper_pmp

    March 10, 2015, 6:52 am

    The only difficulty with that is the issue of grooming.

    How do you know a child is "genuinely" consenting when the adult may have influenced (or even *raised*) them from a young age (or even *birth*) to satisfy their sexual desires?

    Even if they never touch the kid before they can pass the test, they can still twist their entire upbringing and beliefs so that the child thinks it's ok, or even an expression of love rather than someone creating a living sex-toy.

    I think the major problem with paedophilia is the mixing of "parental/authoritarian" and "romantic/sexual" roles. A parent should mold and raise a child in the child's best interests, and even with that goal in mind we still have parents who try to live vicariously through their kids.

    Throw in another powerful influence like romantic attraction or sexual satisfaction, and you're going to get a *lot* more people sacrificing what's best for the kid in favour of what's most satisfying for them.

    Even in a hypothetical society which *legalised* paedophilia, teachers, parents and the like should still be banned from having a relationship with a child in their care - the power-imbalance and associated risk of abuse in the relationship is simply too great and too dangerous otherwise.

    Reply

  • PapaTua

    PapaTua

    March 10, 2015, 7:19 am

    I've got decades of experience on hallucinogens, so I've got some advice for a newbie, but be aware that your mileage may vary.

    The NUMBER ONE rule to successful experiences on psychedelics is **SET** and **SETTING**. Especially for your first time.

    SET:

    Is your mental mind state before tripping. You want to be in a good place mentally. Do you have any major worries at the moment? About to move? Job, relationship or money worries? Be aware that all of these stresses might be amplified and distorted in ways you don't expect. Everyone has stress, but make sure it's not anything major looming over you. So do a little house cleaning/meditation for a few days before hand to get yourself relaxed about the issues in your life. Arrive at a place of optimism about your problems and come to the trip with an open and peaceful mind.

    SETTING:

    Is your physical environment during the trip. Are you *completely* comfortable in your surroundings? you should be. It's normal to feel anxious and a little out of control during the onset, so do whatever you can to relax yourself. You'll be very sensitive to the 'vibe' of the space so do whever you can to minimize any sketchy aspects of the location and people who will be there. Remember to Relax. Breath. Laugh.

    Below are some suggestions. But the basic idea is that you may become incredibly disoriented and you want to ensure that all of your possible needs are pre-planned for so you don't feel uncomfortable and unsure what to do if you want/need something.

    Spend some time before the trip getting to know where you're at.. where the bathrooms are, cups and water, ect. The space should be devoid of chaotic influences.. if non-trippers will be coming and going Tell them to stay away ahead of time. Unplug/turn off telephones. Dealing with non-trippers / the outside world your first time out is extremely disorienting and can be unpleasant. It can be fun later, but I'd advise you should learn some basic tripping skills first. If possible, decorate the space with dim lighting.. bring colorful party lighting if anyone has any. Put up art if it's available. Bring some paper and markers/crayons...you may get inspired. It's also a good diversion if you have a hard time communicating. You probably won't want to eat much but have some sweet/light foods and beverages available. chilled White grape juice, mango juices and cold fruit always seem to go well. Have your favorite music available and queued up. Operating CDs/stereo or your computer (even simple directory browsing) may become an impossible challenge so make everything really easy for yourself before hand. Have lots of blankets and pillows laying around the space, you might get hot/cold or be unsure of how you feel so give your party lots of options to feel cozy.

    For your first time, I would advise against tripping with a bunch of people you've never met before in a strange place as this can upset both your set and setting. If you do all plan to dose together, I'd suggest getting together ahead of time for dinner/hangout time to get to know each other a little. Do dinner the night before or hang out with them during the day leading up to the trip. Have sober a trip sitter if possible.

    The first trip is imposisble to describe before you've done it. It's different for everyone so just go with the flow. You may or may not feel anxious or worried, or hot/cold unsure how your body feels. let it go. You'll feel like your body is acting weird. It's not, you are fine. You may or may not feel like you're loosing your mind. You're not! It's only a drug and will fade in a few hours - repeat that to yourself if you get scared. Surrender to the experience, don't fight it. If you find yourself in recursive thought loops or obsessing on something unpleasant, picture yourself in the sunshine doing an activity you LOVE... for me it's swimming. Focus on it and remember how fun it is, let the darkness go and you'll forget all about it. You will be extremely suggestible and you can absolutely influence where your mind goes, so go with the flow but suggest fun/nice things for yourself. ;) You may or may not be able to communicate. It's normal to get so many ideas happening in your head that you don't know where to start. Don't worry about it. You'll start to see patterns in everything and an underlying order behind every day reality. You'll probably have amazing epiphinanies about your life and every day objects. enjoy them! Laugh! You're seeing the world in a different way so things look different...don't be embarassed about it.

    Just be safe and open minded. Trust yourself, and you'll have a great time. :)

    Reply

  • darkclark

    darkclark

    March 11, 2015, 1:36 am

    When person becomes pregnant I don't see why other people suddenly feel entitled to dictate how that person should live.

    I've spent some time thinking about this tonight, and I suppose it may come down to peoples' perception of a fetus' rights. I prefer to think of pregnant women as people and fetuses as potential people, and so I'd say the rights of the person outweigh the rights of the unborn. Some people seem to think of pregnant women as incubators and fetuses as people, which to me is a form of slavery.

    I know it's a bit of a jump from your story to enslaving women, but in trying to put together my thoughts to respond I kept coming back to the idea that you would be unlikely to raise objection to a non-pregnant person, and this is where I ended up.

    In a similar vein, I am curious if your concern also extends to the parents of already-born children who smoke. And if not, what makes that different?

    Reply

  • acrimonia

    acrimonia

    March 10, 2015, 8:01 am

    Interesting question, but I feel like he shouldn't need to answer the evolutionary purpose of weird things, i.e. crying, yawning, laughing, man nipples, etc. he may be an evolutionary biologist, but i feel its wasteful to ask him to explain random specific functions of things.

    However, going along with your line of thinking, I believe he better question is to simply: "how did animals evolve emotion and the bodies physical reaction to it?" Certainly not just humans feel emotion; dogs, monkeys, cats, can all feel happy and sad.

    My guess at that answer is simply that mammals have larger brains, and have a larger capacity to think, and as a result emotion grew from this enlarged brainpower.

    Reply

  • Shaper_pmp

    Shaper_pmp

    March 10, 2015, 4:07 pm

    Bingo. Paedophilia is something you *are* - child abuse is something you *do*, and in every other case I can think of, as a society we all agree it's completely inappropriate to condemn anyone for anything they *are*.

    We can condemn people for things they *do*, but I wouldn't be surprised if a few decades in the future people looked back on the current contemporary attitudes to paedophilia in much the same way we look back on the experiments in the 50s using electro-convulsive therapy to try to "cure" homosexuality.

    Reply

  • springtime

    springtime

    March 10, 2015, 9:25 am

    > get to a professional. She tells me she will. She hasn't yet (its been maybe a week)

    A note to this: When being depressed, it's hard to get anything done. A week passes by like a day.

    A suggestion at this point: You could break down the steps for her.

    For example instead of asking "Did you contact a therapist already?", you could ask "Did you look up in the yellow pages for a therapist?" or "Did you look up the number of the board for psychotherapists to get a list of registered therapists?"

    It might help her to come closer to her goal. She probably also will be in struggle whether it's "worth it" to get a therapist. With her depression everything might feel hopeless and useless for her - even though it is not. Encouragement and reassurement that it is just her depression and that she will feel better again could help.

    Edit: You also could look up some therapists for her. This way she would have something in her hand already and could decide to keep on looking for someone or choose to use one of the numbers you gave her.

    Reply

  • clippedtoofar

    clippedtoofar

    March 10, 2015, 7:28 am

    Thanks for the quick reply. Really interesting. A few more questions if you don't mind...

    How many hours a day did you play a day when you first started?

    Do you have any skills that may have given you an advantage, maybe majoring in maths or something?

    What are you studying to be?

    Did you tell your parents? What did they think?

    Did you tell your friends or did you keep it to yourself?

    How bad was the stress?

    Did you ever lose your bankroll?

    How did you deal with tilt/downswings?

    I hope you don't mind me asking more questions later on. I should be doing my homework or sleeping. Thanks!

    Reply

  • DrakeBishoff

    DrakeBishoff

    March 10, 2015, 8:38 pm

    I'm sympathetic to what you're saying here. I was looking for the same background information because it's all very relevant to the advice to give. But I found evasiveness, and someone trying to put on a front that they are all sweet and innocent when they are not. I suspect she is a narcissist. The children will suffer if she ends up like so many narcissistic single mothers feeding off the drama of their children via Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. That she is on the second generation of unwed mothers is not surprising at all and why men need to be very cautious in dating the offspring of such.

    Reply

  • reshel

    reshel

    March 11, 2015, 5:14 am

    I totally understand you're situation, I'm in it now. Unfortunately, my state doesn't provide any kind of MSI type program.

    The messed up part of all of this is that the tax payer will have to pay out the ass for people like me (and you before MSI) to go to the emergency room several times a year for not having access to preventative care.

    How the hell does that make any sense?

    I also make a few hundred more than would qualify me for my state's low-income/uninsurable subsidized insurance pool. Even more messed up! (I am a freelancer so my income could look like $4000 one month, and then nada for two months)

    Reply

  • doody

    doody

    March 10, 2015, 7:59 pm

    Those are some dark perceptions, but a marvelously sharp picture. You’ve done something tough and durable by drawing that picture of yourself.

    If you can put those qualities alongside a similarly sharp-focus view of your positive qualities, you’ll really have something to start with.

    Somebody suggested exercise, particularly running or jogging, which is free, outdoors, potentially socializing and likely as good a treatment for personal worth, self-image, depression or shock as any amount of prescribed pharmaceuticals. Preparing healthy, whole food for yourself and for others is a help in connecting with the real world, too, and in assessing one’s priorities. If you can reduce, or better, avoid, the unprescribed chemicals, that will help you have a clearer view, too.

    Thank you for the story above. I’d very much like to hear how you progress from here.

    Reply

  • Munkii

    Munkii

    March 10, 2015, 6:31 am

    This is bullshit. The democrats are losing health care reform because the entire fucking lot of them have been bought and paid for by lobbyists. When Obama talked about "a government of the people, by the people and for the people" he was wrong. This is a government of big business, by big business and for big business.

    I'm amazed that people aren't talking about this as the primary issue here. If Americans can't find a way to sort out the millions of dollars in bribes that these people are getting then they will never ever get what they want.

    (Sorry for the rant, but as an outside observer I find this whole process mind numbingly frustrating >.<)

    Reply

  • boesman

    boesman

    March 10, 2015, 7:06 pm

    His comment also shows how uninformed he is, and reveals his hatred of the common folk.

    Just yesterday we had a reddit front page link documenting the fact that one single mega container ship produces more pollution than 50 MILLION cars. And another one two weeks ago that pointed out that total municipal solid waste accounts for 2.5% of all waste (and the implied futility of individual recycling).

    So environmental impact is best mitigated by focusing on the biggest culprits, not lamenting the billions of "useless eaters" Phillip and his ilk like to resent...

    Reply

  • eubruin

    eubruin

    March 10, 2015, 4:08 pm

    After reading all of the comments I do not have much to add other than make sure that when you talk to her you do so in a comfortable, non-threatening setting. Don't drag her out to a restaurant or somehow make her feel trapped (as a guy, you'd probably want to "go for a drive"). Make her a cup of tea, sit her down in your living room or even her own room, and then let her know exactly what happened. Tell her that you love her unconditionally and tell her how much it hurt you to realize she had pandered to these idiots. I would feel very much the same way about ANY girls that I have ever loved. The whole notion of posting pictures of ex-girlfriends for revenge is entirely alien to me - nothing would crush me more than seeing naked pictures of any of my ex's online... don't even mention my sister!

    I am confident that if you go about it in a loving manner and show more support than authority, you will be able to help her out while retaining your good relationship.

    My sincerest and most heartfelt "good luck" to you brother.

    Reply

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